Strange but probably not true Super Bowl bets this weekend

4 to 1 – Odds that Joe Namath, who as a Super Bowl MVP is being honored before the game, will hit on national-anthem singer Lady Gaga.

2 to 1 – Odds that Lady Gaga will accept the offer.

12 to 1 – Odds that Peyton Manning, at least once at the line of scrimmage, will switch from shouting “Omaha” to instead shout “Wichita.”

10 to 1 – Odds that Denver coach Gary Kubiak will diagram an impromptu play on Manning’s massive forehead.

11 to 1 – Odds that by game’s end, the helmet-causing red blotch on Manning’s forehead will be larger than Rhode Island.

7 to 1 – Odds that play-by-play announcer Jim Nantz will reference “The Masters” and “Augusta” at least six times during the broadcast.

5 to 1 – Odds that Nantz will use the phrase “A tradition unlike any other,” in reference to said Masters.

6 to 1 – Odds that CBS will show Archie Manning at least five times during the broadcast.

2 to 1 – Odds that at least once Archie Manning will have his head buried in his hands, afraid to look to the field to see how his son his faring.

100 to 1 – Odds that a casual football fan watching the game can name at least one member of the Carolina Panthers, not including Cam Newton.

3 to 1 – Odds that by the start of the fourth quarter, at least 35 percent of American adults watching the game will have called out sick for Monday.

Prediction: Carolina 30, Denver 20. But, like most of America, I’ll be rooting for Manning and the Broncos.