4 to 1 – Odds that Joe Namath, who as a Super Bowl MVP is being honored before the game, will hit on national-anthem singer Lady Gaga.
2 to 1 – Odds that Lady Gaga will accept the offer.
12 to 1 – Odds that Peyton Manning, at least once at the line of scrimmage, will switch from shouting “Omaha” to instead shout “Wichita.”
10 to 1 – Odds that Denver coach Gary Kubiak will diagram an impromptu play on Manning’s massive forehead.
11 to 1 – Odds that by game’s end, the helmet-causing red blotch on Manning’s forehead will be larger than Rhode Island.
7 to 1 – Odds that play-by-play announcer Jim Nantz will reference “The Masters” and “Augusta” at least six times during the broadcast.
5 to 1 – Odds that Nantz will use the phrase “A tradition unlike any other,” in reference to said Masters.
6 to 1 – Odds that CBS will show Archie Manning at least five times during the broadcast.
2 to 1 – Odds that at least once Archie Manning will have his head buried in his hands, afraid to look to the field to see how his son his faring.
100 to 1 – Odds that a casual football fan watching the game can name at least one member of the Carolina Panthers, not including Cam Newton.
3 to 1 – Odds that by the start of the fourth quarter, at least 35 percent of American adults watching the game will have called out sick for Monday.
Prediction: Carolina 30, Denver 20. But, like most of America, I’ll be rooting for Manning and the Broncos.